Maeve Birch Home

All of us have felt the sinking feeling of embarrassment at some point in our lives. Something goes wrong and suddenly you’re wishing you were anywhere else but there. Maybe your heart was racing, you broke out in a sudden sweat, or felt numb. Maybe you got angry or struggled to hold back tears.

The fear of being embarrassed drives us into fight or flight mode. Our brains interpret it as “risk” even though we aren’t physically endangered by embarrassment. It is a social risk. As social creatures we are hardwired to want acceptance, even if that would require betraying our morals, hiding parts of ourselves, or pretending to be something we’re not. The inner struggle presents itself as fear.

Horses are absolutely a recipe for embarrassment. They act in unpredictable ways; their responses change from moment to moment. They are huge and powerful, yet held by a paltry strand of rope, the other end of it grasped in your little human hand. Worse, they sense fear and become more nervous in its presence, whether it’s from a real physical threat or your embarrassment. Equids are a catalyst for developing strong emotional skills… or strong emotional disasters.

In my book, Standing in a Field With Horses, there are plenty of embarrassing moments with horses. It’s the humans’ reaction after recognizing their embarrassment that decides the outcome. In unfortunate cases the horse is the recipient of the human’s anger or fear at being placed in an embarrassing situation. In more hopeful cases the human is able to calm themselves and focus on the situation in front of them instead of the judgement they may receive from their fellow humans. How do we become less affected by the eyes on us when we’re in an embarrassing situation?

I have found that laughter helps. Besides being a way to inhale deeply and exhale fully, laughter frees us from the pain of ridicule. We are the fool. It’s ridiculous, yes, but non-threatening. Instead of being in a situation where the horse is not “behaving correctly” we are simply playing around. Laughter frees others to laugh as well, a group exhale and a realization that this is not life or death. It is simply how things are going at the moment. The horse, sensing no fear, steps into the trailer. They lift their hoof to be picked out. They stop pacing frantically. They sigh. Perhaps there’s a way through this after all. It was just a silly little thing.

Don’t forget to sign up for email alerts for blog posts and book updates! Standing in a Field With Horses is released in eBook form on SmashWords and Amazon on November 13th, 2022!