A few years ago, when I was experiencing the things I write about in my memoir, I was always afraid of “doing it wrong” and “ruining the horse” when interacting with equines. Afraid that my gentler way of doing things would lead to places where the horse wouldn’t be able to interact properly with other humans ever again. I think a lot of this fear came from the warnings of those around me. Their defense for having to physically punish a horse for unwanted behavior or forcing them to comply with something was that if they slipped in their corrections,the horse would be “ruined.”
Although there are certainly ways to get into trouble with horses, most of the time if something stops working correctly, a person aware of the horse and themselves can stop and redirect. Basically, if you try something a few times and the horse begins consistently doing something you don’t want, or starts to respond in unsafe ways, you just change what you were doing. Short of activities that end in catastrophic accidents for the human or horse, the horse continues to learn and shape their behavior to the circumstances. My new approach to a horse learning something I didn’t want it to learn is “oops, well that didn’t work.” It’s a much less terrifying statement. “Oops, let’s try something else.” That freedom allows for less than perfection, and reduces anxiety for everyone involved. So if you’re ever in a position where you’ve taught something to a horse by accident, just shake your head and say “well that didn’t work” and start trying something new.
Don’t forget that Standing in a Field With Horses is now an audiobook! Available from Audible, Spotify, and several other online vendors.
Maeve Birch Home 