The past month or so has been a lot of me asking for others to be patient with me. Be patient while I struggle to care about anything besides being helpful to a sick family member. Be patient as I comfort loved ones while barely able to function myself. Be patient with the brain fog, the forgetfulness, the outbursts of emotions. Patient with the nightmares and the extra time to wake up fully. Thankfully, humans generally understand what they themselves have gone through. Everyone will eventually experience the decline and death of their family’s elderly members. My friends and coworkers were patient. I am grateful.
One of the hard things was that over the past month I lost interest in being around the horses. The rescue barn was informed that I was dropping responsibilities for a little bit, and I went two whole weeks without seeing my hooved friends. I didn’t even have the space to think about it. When I did return I felt distant and listless. The horses seemed to notice and avoided me, even the miniature horse that I work with on the regular. Thankfully I’m less exhausted now and have begun enjoying their company again. The horses have been more willing to be around me as well. It’s a relief that we can just pick up where we left off.
I suppose my point is, take the time you need for grief. Horses are fine with you taking a little time to heal. Chances are that the humans around you will also understand. If they haven’t been already, someday they will be where you stand now. Things will be ok again. Be well.
Maeve Birch Home 